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- Relvad ei tapa inimesi. Chuck Norris tapab.- Inva-parkimiskoht ei tähenda, et see on mõeldud invaliididele. See on tegelikult hoiatusmärk, et see koht kuulub Chuck Norrisele ja kui sa sinna pargid, siis sinust saab invaliid.
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- Chuck Norris ei käi jahil. Ta käib tapmas.
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- Esimeses Jurassic Park filmis türannosaurus rex ei ajanud dziipi taga. Chuck Norris ajas türannosaurust ja dziipi taga.
- Chuck Norris ei oma purgiavajat. Ta närib lihtsalt läbi purgi.
- Chuck Norris osales kord härjajooksul. Ta kõndis.
- Kui Chuck Norris tahab sinu arvamust kuulda, siis ta peksab selle sinust välja.
- Chuck Norris suudab silmad lahti aevastada.
- Chuck Norris suudab aatomi poolitada. Paljaste kätega.
- Chuck Norris ei ole kunagi näitlemise eest Oscarit võitnud. Sest ta ei näitle.
- Chuck Norrise spermat võib palja silmaga näha. Iga spermatosoid on väikse mündi suurune.
- Mõned inimesed ütlevad, et Chuck Norris on müüt. Need inimesed on nüüd surnud.
- Chuck Norrisel kadus ükskord telekapult ära, aga ta säilitas televiisori üle kontrolli karjudes selle peale.
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